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Eric Bergeson

Down on the Farm: A study in lateness

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"People are late because they want to be late," concludes Dr. Irving Snerdpoof, Phd., in his recently-published study, "An Inquiry Into the Motivations of the Perpetually Tardy."

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The inspiration for Snerdpoof's most recent study struck like a bolt of lightning while he sat in a pew in church.

"It seemed that each Sunday, the same families would waltz in during the first hymn and march to the front pew," Snerdpoof said.

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